Personal

My Annual Reflection

Someone on my Facebook shared this article and I thought it would be interesting to answer the questions on my blog.

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25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before the End of 2013

1. What am I most proud of this year?

Wow, for once this is an easy one to answer. I’m proud that I decided I was worth it. I gave up on waiting around for things to go my way and instead made them go my way. I’m on track to look better and feel better. That’s all I could ever ask for. Essentially, I’m proud that I chose to have gastric bypass, that I went through with it and that I’m keeping a positive attitude even through my struggles. I deserve to be happy.

2. How can I become a better _____________?

I know that to become a better person, I need to get in better shape. I think I could take on the world if I felt physically well. That’s what 2014 will be about for me. I have to eat well and workout and I’m confident everything will fall into place from there.

3. Where am I feeling stuck?

I feel stuck when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I’m holding onto people that I know don’t add value to my life and I let people walk all over me. I need to find my voice when it comes to that. I think as I feel more confident in who I am, this problem will resolve itself. It’s already taking its course.

4. Where do I need to allow myself grace?

I’ve done pretty well at going easy on myself these days. However, I need to stop beating myself up for other people’s mistakes. I need to stop feeling guilty over things I absolutely can’t control.

5. Am I passionate about my career?

Well, I’m not officially in “career phase” but I know I will be. I’m passionate about what I study (public relations) and I’m passionate about the industry (sports) I want to work in. I just have to finish school first! It took some time to figure out what I wanted out of life but I’m so relieved to be on the right track.

6. What lessons have I learned?

I learned a lot in 2013. I learned that saying goodbye to someone you love isn’t the end of the world. It’s the start of a new beginning.

7. What did I my finances look like?

They were okay. I need to stop spending so much on other people (that might sound selfish, but I’m a little extra sometimes) and start saving. I’ll have to pay more attention to my Mint account to keep track of things.

8. How did I spend my free time?

In Toronto I spent a lot of my free time alone, especially towards the end of the year. It was good for me though. In Pennsylvania almost all of my free time was spent with my family and for once I’m happy about that. Other than that I did a lot of shopping, vacations and hockey games.

9. How well did I take care of my body, mind and soul?

I struggled with all three, as usual. My body is headed in the right direction and I hope my mind and soul follow. It just depends on the day you catch me.

10. How have I been open-minded?

Hmm, I’m usually really open-minded but I find that I struggled with it this year. I don’t really blame myself, something pretty personal happened that made me blackout (that’s what I call it when I go crazy) for a little while. I’ve become more open-minded when it comes to politics though. I listen more now to the opposition’s side. It doesn’t mean I agree, but I learned to listen.

11. When did I feel most creatively inspired?

Most recently actually. December has my creative juices flowing. I’m really into interior design and ever since moving into my new house my mind has been going crazy with ideas. More recently I’ve been thinking about organization (thanks Pinterest). I just can’t wait to actually do it all in 2014.

12. What projects have I completed?

I’m one of those people that starts things but never finishes them, it’s a huge character flaw of mine. I completed school projects! I know, I know… that probably doesn’t count.

13. How have I procrastinated?

Let me count the ways… I procrastinate a lot! I’m 21 years old, I think it’s a natural thing at this age. I’ve procrastinated a lot when it comes to school for once though. I need to fix that.

14. In what ways can I re-structure my time?

Now that I’m feeling so great I think I will be better at time management. I mean, it’s hard to get things done when you are in pain or exhausted. However, I need to spend less time on the Internet. I finally was able to cut back TV in 2013, now I just have to do that with the Internet.

15. How have I allowed fear of failure hold me back?

I don’t think I really did this year. I took the bull by the horn when I went through with gastric bypass. I let things go, and believe me I was holding onto a lot, which I think is pretty fearless.

16. Where has self-doubt taken over?

If you know me, you know I’m a pretty confident person. I don’t struggle with a lot of self-doubt. If I want to do something, I will do it. I don’t let people tell me I can’t either. Right after my surgery though I had what we’ll call a “moment,” where I was worried about school. I didn’t think I couldn’t do it exactly, I was just convinced I would be sick like I was forever and that would force me into giving up. Thank goodness I’m feeling better eh! No doubts ahead.

17. When have I felt the most alive?

Right now, for sure. I used to think feeling alive was about being on a fabulous vacation, or out at a the best club with friends, or having a crush that gave me butterflies. I thought those things defined “being alive.” I’ve learned better. Now I know that being alive is all about feeling alive, as in being physically healthy. How could I have ever felt alive when my body was slowly but surely dying? Heck, even my mind felt like it was dying sometimes. It was like I wasting away. Luckily, I now know what it’s like to feel alive. It’s as simple as waking up and not being exhausted. It’s as simple as taking a walk without running out of breath. It’s as simple as just staying positive.

18. How have I taught others to respect me?

I think my acquaintances have a lot of respect for me but it seems the closer people get, the less they respect me. Like I said before, I need to start sticking up for myself to make this change. It’s definitely the thing that saddens me the most at this point in my life. I know that I should be respected. I look at my life, what I’ve been through, and how I came out of it all. It makes me sad when the people that know me the best don’t respect me. I kind of think, how dare you. I’m not always self-righeous but in this aspect I need to be. How dare you know my struggles and how I’ve worked through them and you can’t even give me respect? You can’t even look at me as an equal? It’s probably time I clean some people out.

19. How can I improve my relationships?

I know I’m not completely innocent in my interpersonal struggles, I’m not stupid. I don’t stick up for myself and let little things slide. Which then leads up to me subconsciously treating the other person differently (worse, I’m sure) and eventually a blow up. If I started saying something in the beginning, it would probably prevent a lot of my problems.

20. Have I been unfair to anyone?

No. I don’t regret anything I said to anyone this year. Some harsh words were spoken, but they were necessary at the time. Necessary for the other person to hear and necessary for me to get off of my chest.

21. Who do I need to forgive?

I don’t really believe in forgiveness. I think you can move past something, but I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven anyone in my adult life. I know a lot of people believe that this is wrong but in this moment it’s what I believe.

22. Where is it time to let go?

I’ve done a good job at letting things go emotionally since my surgery. I was so angry for so long, all I could see was black. I’m slowly but surely coming into the light. I don’t think it’s possible to make yourself let something go. I think it’s just a natural process. One day you just wake up and feel better. All things relating to the mind are connected. You start feeling more confident, you start feeling happier, you let things go. I’m just going to let nature takes its course.

23. What old habits would I like to release?

I think I released a lot of old habits with my surgery. My bad food habits are nearly gone. Other things I can think of are not going to bed with make-up on, not leaving school work until last minute, not letting drama get to me and not avoiding laundry. Those are pretty all of the place!

24. What new habits would I like to cultivate?

There’s so many! I want to be healthier, cleaner, more organized, better at school, and so on and so on. I want to commit to exercise. I want to commit to routines. I want to learn something new, all the time!

25. How can I be kind to myself?

I think treating my body as my temple is the best place to start. If I heal my body, my mind will follow. Being healthy is the best way to be kind to yourself. Other than that, not beating myself up when I make mistakes. I’m pretty good at it but no one is perfect!

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed my annual reflection and I hope it got you thinking! Here are my questions for you! 

What did you do in 2013 that made you happy?

What did you learn about yourself in 2013?

How are you going to make 2014 better?

I look forward to reading your responses! 

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2 thoughts on “My Annual Reflection

  1. Have I ever told you I love reading your stuff?! I think I have but I don’t mind saying it again! I learn so much more about you every time! You are such an interesting and great person! I am glad you are looking inward and deciding to remove some of the people or things that may be holding you back or that aren’t positive influences on you! There is nothing that is more important than that! At 31 I have realized that you have to be happy and worried about you before you can do the same for others. A lot of people believe that if they do not keep others in their lives happy that they will lose them and life will be over. But what they don’t realize is by doing that they are losing themselves in the process. You have so much potential and you impress me more every month! I love knowing you and your postiveness! Keep moving forward and continue being proud of yourself! Never stop being you and being great!

    • Thank you Nigel! I am slowly but surely learning about getting negative people out of my life. It helps when I have such great people, like you, to keep around! Thank you so much for your kind words and ongoing support. Lets go Pens!!!

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